Who Do You Trust?

"Will you open up a bank account with me?" "Will you put your name on my bank account?" Three of the high school boys in MYC Club have asked me these questions. They have all been in MYC Club, our Youth Enterprises business for kids, and our small Boy Scout troop. I didn't even need to ask why they were coming to me to help them with their banking, but they told me anyway. These boys needed an adult's name on their bank account but didn't want to ask a parent. This is because they each knew that they couldn't trust their own parents with access to the money these boys had earned working at Youth Enterprises. They were afraid that mom or dad would get the money out of the bank for themselves and leave them with nothing. Some of the kids who had lived with us at the New Life Youth Home had felt and expressed the same thing.

So, again, my name is on a few savings accounts. (Not checking accounts; I may be crazy but I'm not stupid!) I don't mind doing this for the boys, but I do mind needing to do it just because kids can't trust parents. It is a scary thing to know that your parents are so selfish and immature that they will put their own desires for cigarettes or alcohol or whatever else over what you need or have earned. The consequenses of this self-centered style of "parenting" can be long-lasting and far-reaching. If you can't trust your own parents to be honest or to practice self control or to think of the needs of those for whom they are supposed to be responsible, it is very hard to trust other people or even to trust God. It doesn't even stop there; it could affect future relationships for these boys, such as with a wife or kids. The unwilingness to resist temptation or delay gratification even at the expense of others by someone who is supposed to nuture you and set an example for you can be a hard legacy to overcome.

In my experience with kids, seeing parents who use their kids to meet the needs of the parents is one of the most disgusting acts of arrogance I have encountered. It's a lot like having a government leader who believes you are there to meet his needs, instead of the government protecting and meeting the needs of the people, and so then takes whatever it wants from the people in order to do what he wants. (Wait a minute! Isn't that happening a lot around here lately?) The disgust, disrespect, and distrust we feel toward our government when it takes our money for thing we don't need must be a lot like how these kids feel toward their parents. Unfortunately, you can't vote your parents out of office!