Where Do You Work?

Where Do You Work?

“Mr. Mark, where do you work?” It's a question I've heard a few times from the kids with whom Debbie and I have worked. One of the kids wanted to know this recently here at the Youth Center. You know, I've never needed to answer a question like this from an adult who knows about the MYC Club ministry or from the parents of our kids. As a matter of fact, a couple of our former foster kids, who now have kids of their own, have bravely asked, “Was I that bad when I was a kid?” (The answer is yes, and that they are getting their “paybacks”).
Apparently, at least some of the kids in Club cannot imagine that spending time with them here or on outside events could possibly qualify as work. Maybe I am enjoying myself too much. They don't see that since I spend my time here or with them, that this must be my work. The way I interpret this question, though, is to be glad that at least some of the kids understand that we enjoy what we do and enjoy being with them. It must show in how we treat them and how we act around them. We want them to feel accepted and loved, to know that we are glad they are here and like to be with them. After all, building relationships is the key to our ministry and it is hard to build a relationship if you are doing something you don't like with someone you don't like.
Of course, some of our times in Club are fun: like the kids, I like playing in the gym, going to camp or ballgames or canoeing, and I like eating snacks. I like having the power to decide to play a game of dodgeball when the boys have too much energy or are trash talking. Also of course, much of what I do can't really be called fun. It isn't fun to clean up messes, break up arguments, listen to whining, do paperwork, or to stay within a budget. It's the opposite of fun to tell a parent that their child will have to be on our waiting list or to see someone you care about make stupid choices that will cause pain to themselves and others. All in all, though, I like what I do and I'm glad that it shows.
When I talk to the high school students in our Youth Enterprises job program, I teach them that to enjoy lasting happiness and fulfillment, it is more important to choose a career you like than to make a job choice based upon how much money it pays. I would also like our kids to see that we can trust God to prepare a ministry for each of us that we enjoy, whether or not it is actually our “job.”

Who Do You Trust?

"Will you open up a bank account with me?" "Will you put your name on my bank account?" Three of the high school boys in MYC Club have asked me these questions. They have all been in MYC Club, our Youth Enterprises business for kids, and our small Boy Scout troop. I didn't even need to ask why they were coming to me to help them with their banking, but they told me anyway. These boys needed an adult's name on their bank account but didn't want to ask a parent. This is because they each knew that they couldn't trust their own parents with access to the money these boys had earned working at Youth Enterprises. They were afraid that mom or dad would get the money out of the bank for themselves and leave them with nothing. Some of the kids who had lived with us at the New Life Youth Home had felt and expressed the same thing.

So, again, my name is on a few savings accounts. (Not checking accounts; I may be crazy but I'm not stupid!) I don't mind doing this for the boys, but I do mind needing to do it just because kids can't trust parents. It is a scary thing to know that your parents are so selfish and immature that they will put their own desires for cigarettes or alcohol or whatever else over what you need or have earned. The consequenses of this self-centered style of "parenting" can be long-lasting and far-reaching. If you can't trust your own parents to be honest or to practice self control or to think of the needs of those for whom they are supposed to be responsible, it is very hard to trust other people or even to trust God. It doesn't even stop there; it could affect future relationships for these boys, such as with a wife or kids. The unwilingness to resist temptation or delay gratification even at the expense of others by someone who is supposed to nuture you and set an example for you can be a hard legacy to overcome.

In my experience with kids, seeing parents who use their kids to meet the needs of the parents is one of the most disgusting acts of arrogance I have encountered. It's a lot like having a government leader who believes you are there to meet his needs, instead of the government protecting and meeting the needs of the people, and so then takes whatever it wants from the people in order to do what he wants. (Wait a minute! Isn't that happening a lot around here lately?) The disgust, disrespect, and distrust we feel toward our government when it takes our money for thing we don't need must be a lot like how these kids feel toward their parents. Unfortunately, you can't vote your parents out of office!