A Baby for Christmas
December 22, in a hospital room in Jackson, Debbie and I held our newborn grandchild, McKinnley. Debbie even had the privilege of being with Sheria and participating in McKinnley's birth. With this birth fresh on my mind, I would like to share some brief Christmas Eve thoughts with you.
I think of Mary, and especially of Joseph, holding the newborn boy. (I feel sorry for the grandparents who weren't there.) The creator of the universe depended upon this young, poor couple for everything. Our omnipotent God couldn't even hold up his own head.
As I hold the baby and talk to her mom and listen to Debbie describe the birth, I can't understand how some people can believe in accidental evolution instead of a wise creator. The process of pregnancy and birth, with everything happening at just the right time, and the intricacy of this precious child scream out for a creator. Something as amazing and complicated as this isn't just be random chance.
How twisted are the minds of parents who neglect, abuse, or abandon a child. How infuriatingly selfish can a guy be to abandon the mother of his child to raise the baby alone. How disgustingly self-centered is a mom who acts like her kids are just someone else to manipulate to meet her own needs. How unnatural it is to kill your unborn baby because it will be inconvenient to your selfish lifestyle or agenda. Yet in our work with kids we see this kind of revolting attitude too often. I thank God for being so loving and unselfish that He gave himself to us. This is why I celebrate Christmas!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
MYC Graduates
MYC Graduates
Here at the Mission Youth Center, there is a small but consistent and slowly-growing group of boys who are still coming to Club after high school graduation. This is encouraging development in our ministry and is a natural result of our relationship-based work. We pray and hope that we can continue to meet some of the needs of these guys, and that eventually some of our MYC graduates will be working here. On every high school Club night this fall we have had from three to six graduates.
I know that some of the reasons that these boys have continued to be involved with us may be thought by some as negative reasons, such as not going off to college or not having a dad around and so they still need to continue their relationship with the men who work here. Other reasons are simple, such as a chance to see their friends or play some basketball or just for something to do. Our favorite reasons are that they value the relationships and positive role models here. This is one of the reasons why I am so thankful for the staff here at MYC and the long-term commitments they make and examples they set. Whatever the reason, it is an opportunity for ministry and discipleship that we value. So far it has only been the boy graduates who keep coming, and we hope that will change, but we understand that most of our girls are not as attracted by the chance to play in our gym, and some are expected to babysit and to take over other responsibilities around the house for their families once they graduate.
One of the “growing pains” we experience by having kids who are no longer in school had been simply to figure out what these guys could be doing during the time the other Club kids are doing homework. Our solution to this has been to have a special “graduates only” class which hopefully will challenge them to think about serious issues, make wise choices from a Christian worldview, and mature to the next level. I tell them that this is an exciting and critical part of their life because it is when they decide who they really are and what they really believe. I try to challenge them to explore what they believe and why they believe it, versus just going with what they have been taught. I emphasize that you know what you really believe by the choices you make. We are using the True U: Does God Exist? from Focus On the Family, which is sort of a college level version of The Truth Project. This series pits four worldviews against one another to see which one gives the best answers and the best life. I have enjoyed the questions and conversations which have come from watching portions of the videos, but more importantly some of the boys seem to really be thinking and getting into the subject. I hope they can see that real Christianity is the only worldview that gives hope, inner peace, and purpose to our lives.
Here at the Mission Youth Center, there is a small but consistent and slowly-growing group of boys who are still coming to Club after high school graduation. This is encouraging development in our ministry and is a natural result of our relationship-based work. We pray and hope that we can continue to meet some of the needs of these guys, and that eventually some of our MYC graduates will be working here. On every high school Club night this fall we have had from three to six graduates.
I know that some of the reasons that these boys have continued to be involved with us may be thought by some as negative reasons, such as not going off to college or not having a dad around and so they still need to continue their relationship with the men who work here. Other reasons are simple, such as a chance to see their friends or play some basketball or just for something to do. Our favorite reasons are that they value the relationships and positive role models here. This is one of the reasons why I am so thankful for the staff here at MYC and the long-term commitments they make and examples they set. Whatever the reason, it is an opportunity for ministry and discipleship that we value. So far it has only been the boy graduates who keep coming, and we hope that will change, but we understand that most of our girls are not as attracted by the chance to play in our gym, and some are expected to babysit and to take over other responsibilities around the house for their families once they graduate.
One of the “growing pains” we experience by having kids who are no longer in school had been simply to figure out what these guys could be doing during the time the other Club kids are doing homework. Our solution to this has been to have a special “graduates only” class which hopefully will challenge them to think about serious issues, make wise choices from a Christian worldview, and mature to the next level. I tell them that this is an exciting and critical part of their life because it is when they decide who they really are and what they really believe. I try to challenge them to explore what they believe and why they believe it, versus just going with what they have been taught. I emphasize that you know what you really believe by the choices you make. We are using the True U: Does God Exist? from Focus On the Family, which is sort of a college level version of The Truth Project. This series pits four worldviews against one another to see which one gives the best answers and the best life. I have enjoyed the questions and conversations which have come from watching portions of the videos, but more importantly some of the boys seem to really be thinking and getting into the subject. I hope they can see that real Christianity is the only worldview that gives hope, inner peace, and purpose to our lives.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Don't Listen to the Lies!
Don't Listen to the Lies
Last week we took our MYC high school club kids to a local church to watch “To Save a Life.” This is a movie for adults and teenagers that deals with serious issues such as honesty, friendship, drinking and drugs, pregnancy, and especially suicide. The next morning a high school boy from our church killed himself at his home. He was not in MYC Club but some of our kids knew him from school or the band, bowling team, or church youth group. He even had gone with the youth group to our camp the previous day as part of a volunteer work project. Debbie and I know his mom and his older siblings from the years we spent as youth sponsors in the youth group, but we didn't really know this boy.
I won't pretend to know why he made this choice or what he was thinking, but I do know that he must have been listening to Satan's lies. Satan's lies come through music or other entertainment media, from “friends” or sometimes even from family, from society, advertising, or even from school, from false religions or philosophies, or sometimes just directly into our minds in the battle to influence our choices. There are some horrible lies out there which are meant to manipulate us, keep us from knowing and understanding our value and purpose, or even to destroy us. Evolution is a lie that tries to convince us that we are just random accidents with no meaning, value, or purpose. The boy who killed himself in “To Save a Life” believed the lie that he was unimportant. Advertising and entertainment lie to us about how we should look, dress, act, or feel,and try to tell us that we don't fit in if we don't comply False religions and cults lie to us by telling us that God could not have come to earth as a person, or didn't die for our sins, or doesn't know us individually and love us unconditionally.
How can we know if Satan or his servants are lying to us and trying to manipulate us? The best way to know for sure if something is a lie is to know the truth. We find the truth in God's word. The truth is that we are all unique creations of God, and that He made us all different but loves us all the same. The truth is that we all have a purpose, meaning, importance, and value. The truth is that God loves us enough to send His own son for us, to forgive us, and offer to adopt us into His family. The truth is that God has gifts and talents for all of us to be used for His people and His glory. The truth is that God wants a relationship with us and that we don't have to earn our way to heaven by following rules or doing good. The truth is also that Satan hates us and works to drown out the truth by surrounding us with lies or tricking us by taking part of the truth and twisting it into a lie. The truth is also that if we spend the time God has given us listening to the wrong music or the wrong peers or even our own wrong thoughts that we can be tricked into thinking that we don't matter to God or other people, and that the answer is in destructive choices like meth or perverted sex or money or even suicide. Please don't listen to the lies!
Last week we took our MYC high school club kids to a local church to watch “To Save a Life.” This is a movie for adults and teenagers that deals with serious issues such as honesty, friendship, drinking and drugs, pregnancy, and especially suicide. The next morning a high school boy from our church killed himself at his home. He was not in MYC Club but some of our kids knew him from school or the band, bowling team, or church youth group. He even had gone with the youth group to our camp the previous day as part of a volunteer work project. Debbie and I know his mom and his older siblings from the years we spent as youth sponsors in the youth group, but we didn't really know this boy.
I won't pretend to know why he made this choice or what he was thinking, but I do know that he must have been listening to Satan's lies. Satan's lies come through music or other entertainment media, from “friends” or sometimes even from family, from society, advertising, or even from school, from false religions or philosophies, or sometimes just directly into our minds in the battle to influence our choices. There are some horrible lies out there which are meant to manipulate us, keep us from knowing and understanding our value and purpose, or even to destroy us. Evolution is a lie that tries to convince us that we are just random accidents with no meaning, value, or purpose. The boy who killed himself in “To Save a Life” believed the lie that he was unimportant. Advertising and entertainment lie to us about how we should look, dress, act, or feel,and try to tell us that we don't fit in if we don't comply False religions and cults lie to us by telling us that God could not have come to earth as a person, or didn't die for our sins, or doesn't know us individually and love us unconditionally.
How can we know if Satan or his servants are lying to us and trying to manipulate us? The best way to know for sure if something is a lie is to know the truth. We find the truth in God's word. The truth is that we are all unique creations of God, and that He made us all different but loves us all the same. The truth is that we all have a purpose, meaning, importance, and value. The truth is that God loves us enough to send His own son for us, to forgive us, and offer to adopt us into His family. The truth is that God has gifts and talents for all of us to be used for His people and His glory. The truth is that God wants a relationship with us and that we don't have to earn our way to heaven by following rules or doing good. The truth is also that Satan hates us and works to drown out the truth by surrounding us with lies or tricking us by taking part of the truth and twisting it into a lie. The truth is also that if we spend the time God has given us listening to the wrong music or the wrong peers or even our own wrong thoughts that we can be tricked into thinking that we don't matter to God or other people, and that the answer is in destructive choices like meth or perverted sex or money or even suicide. Please don't listen to the lies!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
How Long Do You Think You Can Do This?
How Long Do You Think You Can Do This?
“How long have you been working with kids?” “H ow long do you think you will be able to do this?” “Do you think you will ever retire or do something else? I get questions like this every once in awhile. A few times the questions have come from kids, but usually they will come from an adult who can't imagine working with rowdy kids, or who used to be one of our rowdy kids.
My first experience with kids was in Chicago in 1977 as a volunteer at a neighborhood youth center while I was a student at Moody Bible Institute. I was still a rowdy kid myself. The answers to the other questions are more complicated. Debbie and I want to work with kids as long as we believe God wants us to be in this kind of ministry, or until He has another purpose for us to fulfill. I've decided on a test which I believe will show me when it's time for a change. I've asked Debbie to help watch for such a moment, when I act like I'm too tired or burned out to go on, or have simply lost my mind. Here is the simple test: When the time comes that I see or hear a child do something with my own eyes or ears, and the child tells me that he didn't do it, and I believe him, then it is time to retire from youth work and move on.
Apparently there are a few kids who think I have already lost my mind. They act like I will believe what they say over what I see with my own eyes. Last week I heard a boy call another boy an offensive racial name. (Both boys are black.) When I confronted him for his rudeness, he absolutely denied saying it, even though I saw him and heard him myself. Then, instead of an apology to the other boy, he became angry and aggressive to the point where he had to leave early. It isn't surprising to see this behavior. They see their parents, sports and entertainment “heroes” and politicians set the pattern: deny reality to push their agenda, and then get angry and ridicule those to whom they should be apologizing. I passed my test again, so I'm not ready to retire. The Bible teaches us to walk by faith and not by sight, but this applies to God's promises, not to a kid's lies or a politician's talking points.
“How long have you been working with kids?” “H ow long do you think you will be able to do this?” “Do you think you will ever retire or do something else? I get questions like this every once in awhile. A few times the questions have come from kids, but usually they will come from an adult who can't imagine working with rowdy kids, or who used to be one of our rowdy kids.
My first experience with kids was in Chicago in 1977 as a volunteer at a neighborhood youth center while I was a student at Moody Bible Institute. I was still a rowdy kid myself. The answers to the other questions are more complicated. Debbie and I want to work with kids as long as we believe God wants us to be in this kind of ministry, or until He has another purpose for us to fulfill. I've decided on a test which I believe will show me when it's time for a change. I've asked Debbie to help watch for such a moment, when I act like I'm too tired or burned out to go on, or have simply lost my mind. Here is the simple test: When the time comes that I see or hear a child do something with my own eyes or ears, and the child tells me that he didn't do it, and I believe him, then it is time to retire from youth work and move on.
Apparently there are a few kids who think I have already lost my mind. They act like I will believe what they say over what I see with my own eyes. Last week I heard a boy call another boy an offensive racial name. (Both boys are black.) When I confronted him for his rudeness, he absolutely denied saying it, even though I saw him and heard him myself. Then, instead of an apology to the other boy, he became angry and aggressive to the point where he had to leave early. It isn't surprising to see this behavior. They see their parents, sports and entertainment “heroes” and politicians set the pattern: deny reality to push their agenda, and then get angry and ridicule those to whom they should be apologizing. I passed my test again, so I'm not ready to retire. The Bible teaches us to walk by faith and not by sight, but this applies to God's promises, not to a kid's lies or a politician's talking points.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
They're Back Again
Kids Clubs here at MYC are as full as I have ever experienced, with short to very long waiting lists in every age group. Even our high school club, which in the past has been the only club without a waiting list now has kids who are waiting to get involved. A few of our current MYC Club members are new, and a few others have been to our summer camp or previously have been on our waiting lists, but the great majority of our kids were with us last year. Many have been with us as long as I can remember. There are now kids in high school who were in intermediate school when Debbie and I began our work with MYC. All of us who work with kids here at the Mission believe that the strongest reason for kids returning to camp and club year after year is the relationship. Not only do we work with most of the same kids and familes year after year, but we have been blessed with most of the same staff and volunteers year after year, and this greatly helps with building relationships. The need is great, and our relationships with these families are key to meeting the needs. Some of our kids represent the second generation of camp and club attendance for the family. Yes, these kids can drive us crazy, and not every moment is enjoyable, but we do enjoy seeing them and getting to know them year after year.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
They Are Coming!
There are thirteen of them. They will be loud. They don't know our rules. They don't listen well. They are easily bored and easily distracted. They don't know how to play our games. They have short attention spans and small bladders. They outnumber us. They are waiting. And they are coming!
You're right if you think that they sound pretty intimidating; maybe we'll even admit a little scary. What am I talking about? If you know kids, you may have already figured it out. I'm talking about our newest class of 1st graders here at MYC Club. Each July, we give a chance for kids who may want to be in MYC Club during the school year to have a head start by joining Summer in the Son, which is our summer club program. In May, we give applications to kindergarten students who have been identified by the teachers as having a need for MYC and who could benefit from Club next year. The teachers may have noticed early behavior issues or inadequate families or simply kids who could use some attention, some structure, or some relationships with loving adults.
This year we have thirteen of these little ones. This is the biggest number of kindergarten graduates to begin Summer in the Son in the five years I have been involved with summer Club. Six of them are enthusiastic younger siblings of current MYC kids. This tells us that their older brothers and sisters have enjoyed Club and that their parents are trusting us with the little ones as soon as we can get them. Some of these kids have been asking and waiting to come to MYC since they have been watching brothers and sisters and cousins come to Club. Seven of them represent new families for MYC and a new opportunity to build relationships with families who recognize MYC as a way to meet the needs of their kids. We thank God for the chance to serve Him by serving these kids and their families.
Yes, it is a little intimidating. We will need a lot of energy, patience, and love. Please keep us in your prayers. All of our kids are challenging, and a large number of new kids at the same time can be overwhelming, but also remind us to look to God for the strength, love, and wisdom we will need. These kids are everything described in the opening paragraph, but even more so they are God's creation who God loves and for whom God has a purpose. God isn't scared. Bring them on!
You're right if you think that they sound pretty intimidating; maybe we'll even admit a little scary. What am I talking about? If you know kids, you may have already figured it out. I'm talking about our newest class of 1st graders here at MYC Club. Each July, we give a chance for kids who may want to be in MYC Club during the school year to have a head start by joining Summer in the Son, which is our summer club program. In May, we give applications to kindergarten students who have been identified by the teachers as having a need for MYC and who could benefit from Club next year. The teachers may have noticed early behavior issues or inadequate families or simply kids who could use some attention, some structure, or some relationships with loving adults.
This year we have thirteen of these little ones. This is the biggest number of kindergarten graduates to begin Summer in the Son in the five years I have been involved with summer Club. Six of them are enthusiastic younger siblings of current MYC kids. This tells us that their older brothers and sisters have enjoyed Club and that their parents are trusting us with the little ones as soon as we can get them. Some of these kids have been asking and waiting to come to MYC since they have been watching brothers and sisters and cousins come to Club. Seven of them represent new families for MYC and a new opportunity to build relationships with families who recognize MYC as a way to meet the needs of their kids. We thank God for the chance to serve Him by serving these kids and their families.
Yes, it is a little intimidating. We will need a lot of energy, patience, and love. Please keep us in your prayers. All of our kids are challenging, and a large number of new kids at the same time can be overwhelming, but also remind us to look to God for the strength, love, and wisdom we will need. These kids are everything described in the opening paragraph, but even more so they are God's creation who God loves and for whom God has a purpose. God isn't scared. Bring them on!
Friday, May 28, 2010
You Make Me Want to Get Maried!
Debbie and I have known “Ivy” for the four years we have been involved with MYC Club. She uses two different last names because of her confusing, complicated family. Her little brother has a different last name, which isn't the same as mom's last name One brother has been in prison for a violent assault. Another brother openly displays “sexual orientation” issues. It's safe to say that the families who work at MYC are not what she is used to seeing at home.
Earlier this month Ivy was working with Debbie at Youth Enterprises, which is our job program for high school students. The subject of conversation was work related, not about relationships or marriage. Seemingly out of nowhere, Ivy said, “Ms. Debbie, seeing you and Mr. Mark makes me want to get married!” It really wasn't out of nowhere, though. She has been watching us and listening to us as we relate to each other while we work with the kids.
It isn't by accident that we have married couples working at MYC, because these kids need role models who display the fruit of God's spirit through their marriages. This hasn't been the only time the subject of marriage has been brought up by the kids. One boy told Greg that watching Greg and his wife made marriage look like fun! Some girls have asked me if Debbie and I ever argue. (Of course, I tell them that Debbie and I have disagreements whenever Debbie is wrong about something.) It's encouraging to know that the kids are watching us and learning from us. It's also a little scary, knowing that you are being watched, but that's a part of building relationships and a reason to pray. We also pray that these kids can break the cycle of destructive family lifestyles which have caused them to be at risk and need us.
Earlier this month Ivy was working with Debbie at Youth Enterprises, which is our job program for high school students. The subject of conversation was work related, not about relationships or marriage. Seemingly out of nowhere, Ivy said, “Ms. Debbie, seeing you and Mr. Mark makes me want to get married!” It really wasn't out of nowhere, though. She has been watching us and listening to us as we relate to each other while we work with the kids.
It isn't by accident that we have married couples working at MYC, because these kids need role models who display the fruit of God's spirit through their marriages. This hasn't been the only time the subject of marriage has been brought up by the kids. One boy told Greg that watching Greg and his wife made marriage look like fun! Some girls have asked me if Debbie and I ever argue. (Of course, I tell them that Debbie and I have disagreements whenever Debbie is wrong about something.) It's encouraging to know that the kids are watching us and learning from us. It's also a little scary, knowing that you are being watched, but that's a part of building relationships and a reason to pray. We also pray that these kids can break the cycle of destructive family lifestyles which have caused them to be at risk and need us.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Eagle Scout from MYC
Monday May 10, MYC Club senior Antwan Howard was honored in a special ceremony at the Youth Center for earning the rank of Eagle Scout. He is a member of Scout Troop 380, which meets at MYC Wednesday afternoons, with Bart Williams as Scout Master. We are excited because Antwan is the first Scout from our troop to earn Eagle Scout.
Antwan comes from a loyal “MYC family”, having followed his older siblings by being involved in MYC Club since primary school. He has also been in Youth Enterprises through high school and in the Scout Troop since fifth grade. His Eagle Scout project was the Forked Deer River Trail. Antwan, with help from the rest of our Troop and others in the community, cleared and marked a trail alongside the north bank of the river. The trail is for the enjoyment of those who like walking or enjoy nature, and will be part of what we hope someday to be a trail system or riverfront park. The trail begins west of the Mission, where the clearing meets the woods along the river behind the Farmer's Market. It follows the river and then to some ponds and up to the levee. MYC Club kids and others have already enjoyed the trail, and Antwan invites you to try it out for yourself! Just look for the signs or ask one of us.
The Scout leaders, MYC staff, and Mission staff are all proud of Antwan. Few Scouts anywhere have the determination to earn the highest rank. He never quit or used any of the convenient excuses available to him, such as poverty and little parent involvement. He instead has shown what our kids can accomplish with the desire and some encouragement and help from caring adults. Antwan's attitude and accomplishment has been a blessing to us and we pray for God's blessings for him as he enters the next season of his life.
Antwan comes from a loyal “MYC family”, having followed his older siblings by being involved in MYC Club since primary school. He has also been in Youth Enterprises through high school and in the Scout Troop since fifth grade. His Eagle Scout project was the Forked Deer River Trail. Antwan, with help from the rest of our Troop and others in the community, cleared and marked a trail alongside the north bank of the river. The trail is for the enjoyment of those who like walking or enjoy nature, and will be part of what we hope someday to be a trail system or riverfront park. The trail begins west of the Mission, where the clearing meets the woods along the river behind the Farmer's Market. It follows the river and then to some ponds and up to the levee. MYC Club kids and others have already enjoyed the trail, and Antwan invites you to try it out for yourself! Just look for the signs or ask one of us.
The Scout leaders, MYC staff, and Mission staff are all proud of Antwan. Few Scouts anywhere have the determination to earn the highest rank. He never quit or used any of the convenient excuses available to him, such as poverty and little parent involvement. He instead has shown what our kids can accomplish with the desire and some encouragement and help from caring adults. Antwan's attitude and accomplishment has been a blessing to us and we pray for God's blessings for him as he enters the next season of his life.
Something to Celebrate
They are the children of an addicted mom and a father who is isn't involved in their lives. A sister and brother who have often been moved between relatives or have been with mom in whatever was her current living arrangement. They learned to fend for themselves and look out for each other.
First, they came to Club and Camp, and for four years they have been involved with MYC as consistently as their chaotic life will allow. Then, last summer they were two of the MYC Club kids who came with Debbie and I to VBS at our church. Next, they started coming to church with us regularly on Sundays and Wednesdays. Early this year, their mother began to join her children with us at church. Everyone at church made her feel comfortable and welcomed her. The Spirit of God was working all of this time. Now, she has a personal relationship with Jesus! She shared in church her decision to accept Christ and be baptized. She shared a testimony during her baptism, in front of her kids, including repenting of mistakes. Now we all have a miracle to celebrate! Luke quotes Jesus saying that the angels celebrate when a sinner repents, and I believe that so should we/
Reaching parents isn't even included in our written MYC Mission Statement. However, serving the needs of the whole family because of Christ is what the we at the Mission strive to do and what we as individual Christians have been called to do. Now, this mom wants to become a better mom and is already being a better example for her kids. There is no guarantee that it will be easy for her, but now she has the Spirit of God, the church, and those of us here at the Mission and MYC to support and encourage her. We can't take credit for this miracle in this family; God has used many of His people to do His work. Everyone who supports or volunteers in the Mission's youth programs has had a part in this transformation. We invite you to celebrate this new member of the family of God with us! Thank God for His work with this mom and for meeting the needs of these children and for answers to prayer.
First, they came to Club and Camp, and for four years they have been involved with MYC as consistently as their chaotic life will allow. Then, last summer they were two of the MYC Club kids who came with Debbie and I to VBS at our church. Next, they started coming to church with us regularly on Sundays and Wednesdays. Early this year, their mother began to join her children with us at church. Everyone at church made her feel comfortable and welcomed her. The Spirit of God was working all of this time. Now, she has a personal relationship with Jesus! She shared in church her decision to accept Christ and be baptized. She shared a testimony during her baptism, in front of her kids, including repenting of mistakes. Now we all have a miracle to celebrate! Luke quotes Jesus saying that the angels celebrate when a sinner repents, and I believe that so should we/
Reaching parents isn't even included in our written MYC Mission Statement. However, serving the needs of the whole family because of Christ is what the we at the Mission strive to do and what we as individual Christians have been called to do. Now, this mom wants to become a better mom and is already being a better example for her kids. There is no guarantee that it will be easy for her, but now she has the Spirit of God, the church, and those of us here at the Mission and MYC to support and encourage her. We can't take credit for this miracle in this family; God has used many of His people to do His work. Everyone who supports or volunteers in the Mission's youth programs has had a part in this transformation. We invite you to celebrate this new member of the family of God with us! Thank God for His work with this mom and for meeting the needs of these children and for answers to prayer.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Kid Logic
“Xavier dared me to do it!” A 3rd -grade MYC Club member had stolen a teacher's glasses and had taken them to the bathroom, where they were stepped on and left broken on the floor. This was his excuse when we confronted him. He wasn't even angry with the teacher; it was all about a dare.
“You can't kick me out; I've been in Club longer than you!” This bit of twisted logic was from a teenage boy who was being suspended from Club for insubordination. In his mind, the fact that he had been involved at MYC for years prevented him from having to accept responsibility for his actions.
“My mama says if someone puts their hand on me, I have to hit them!” This classic was from a 2nd grade boy who had wanted to wrestle with one of our teenage volunteers. When the older boy playfully wrestled with him, the little boy slugged him with a fist. Yet he still asks our staff to spin him around or wrestle and refuses to see that we don't do this with him anymore because of his lack of self control.
We can come up with an excuse for anything. Lame attempts to deny responsibility for our choices began with, “The woman you made for me gave me the fruit,” and has continued through, “I inherited this bad economy!” and beyond. The “disappearing dads” of our single-parent kids give the kids excuses instead of support or protection. This refusal to accept responsibility is a major reason that the kids with whom we serve at MYC are at risk. The examples our kids see of blaming others instead of claiming ownership for actions come in a continuous stream from celebrities, government leaders, and even parents. Kid logic sounds funny in a story, but it is scary when so many adults who influence our kids never grow out of using it.
“You can't kick me out; I've been in Club longer than you!” This bit of twisted logic was from a teenage boy who was being suspended from Club for insubordination. In his mind, the fact that he had been involved at MYC for years prevented him from having to accept responsibility for his actions.
“My mama says if someone puts their hand on me, I have to hit them!” This classic was from a 2nd grade boy who had wanted to wrestle with one of our teenage volunteers. When the older boy playfully wrestled with him, the little boy slugged him with a fist. Yet he still asks our staff to spin him around or wrestle and refuses to see that we don't do this with him anymore because of his lack of self control.
We can come up with an excuse for anything. Lame attempts to deny responsibility for our choices began with, “The woman you made for me gave me the fruit,” and has continued through, “I inherited this bad economy!” and beyond. The “disappearing dads” of our single-parent kids give the kids excuses instead of support or protection. This refusal to accept responsibility is a major reason that the kids with whom we serve at MYC are at risk. The examples our kids see of blaming others instead of claiming ownership for actions come in a continuous stream from celebrities, government leaders, and even parents. Kid logic sounds funny in a story, but it is scary when so many adults who influence our kids never grow out of using it.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Birds Versus Evolution
Birds Versus Evolution
This month Debbie and I took a van full of MYC Club kids to Reelfoot Lake for our annual trip to see the “Save Our American Raptors” program. Reelfoot Lake is winter home for bald eagles and lots of other birds. At the Raptor program, the kids get to see hawks, owls, vultures, and eagles up close, and get to experience many of the birds flying so low over their heads that they feel the wind in their hair.
As each bird is introduced, the presenters tell and show us some amazing abilities that point us to an amazing creator. For example, an owl which can pinpoint the location of a mouse over a hundred yards away without even seeing it. The owl knows to turn it's head from side to side so that it can hear the mouse in each ear separately. Then it triangulates the exact location of the mouse by the sound in each ear and silently swoops in for a furry snack. Now I have to ask: How could this skill possibly have evolved? How could this species of owl have found food before it evolved to have this ability? Does the mama owl teach the babies how to do the geometry and calculate the distance to dinner? Of course not! The first owl must have been created with this instinct, and so there must be a Creator.
The black vulture was amazing, too. After laughing at it as it ran around the room between us, we learned about it's unique and disgusting defensive skill. The vulture uses projectile vomit to protect itself from danger while on the ground. I couldn't talk any of the kids into rushing at the vulture so it could demonstrate vulture vomit. No other creature apparently enjoys this either, so the vulture is protected while it dines on dead bodies. Again, I have to ask: How did the vulture protect itself before it evolved or discovered to ability to projectile vomit? Did one decide that it was tired of flying away from dinner whenever a predator approached and instead try to be so gross that nothing else would dare to approach? Of course not! Like the owl, the first vulture must have been created with this instinct. If this skill could have evolved, I'll bet that middle school boys would be enjoying this skill by now. The only logical conclusion is that there must be an amazing, wise, powerful Creator. To come up with the vulture, our Creator must also have a sense of humor!
This month Debbie and I took a van full of MYC Club kids to Reelfoot Lake for our annual trip to see the “Save Our American Raptors” program. Reelfoot Lake is winter home for bald eagles and lots of other birds. At the Raptor program, the kids get to see hawks, owls, vultures, and eagles up close, and get to experience many of the birds flying so low over their heads that they feel the wind in their hair.
As each bird is introduced, the presenters tell and show us some amazing abilities that point us to an amazing creator. For example, an owl which can pinpoint the location of a mouse over a hundred yards away without even seeing it. The owl knows to turn it's head from side to side so that it can hear the mouse in each ear separately. Then it triangulates the exact location of the mouse by the sound in each ear and silently swoops in for a furry snack. Now I have to ask: How could this skill possibly have evolved? How could this species of owl have found food before it evolved to have this ability? Does the mama owl teach the babies how to do the geometry and calculate the distance to dinner? Of course not! The first owl must have been created with this instinct, and so there must be a Creator.
The black vulture was amazing, too. After laughing at it as it ran around the room between us, we learned about it's unique and disgusting defensive skill. The vulture uses projectile vomit to protect itself from danger while on the ground. I couldn't talk any of the kids into rushing at the vulture so it could demonstrate vulture vomit. No other creature apparently enjoys this either, so the vulture is protected while it dines on dead bodies. Again, I have to ask: How did the vulture protect itself before it evolved or discovered to ability to projectile vomit? Did one decide that it was tired of flying away from dinner whenever a predator approached and instead try to be so gross that nothing else would dare to approach? Of course not! Like the owl, the first vulture must have been created with this instinct. If this skill could have evolved, I'll bet that middle school boys would be enjoying this skill by now. The only logical conclusion is that there must be an amazing, wise, powerful Creator. To come up with the vulture, our Creator must also have a sense of humor!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Where Do You Work?
Where Do You Work?
“Mr. Mark, where do you work?” It's a question I've heard a few times from the kids with whom Debbie and I have worked. One of the kids wanted to know this recently here at the Youth Center. You know, I've never needed to answer a question like this from an adult who knows about the MYC Club ministry or from the parents of our kids. As a matter of fact, a couple of our former foster kids, who now have kids of their own, have bravely asked, “Was I that bad when I was a kid?” (The answer is yes, and that they are getting their “paybacks”).
Apparently, at least some of the kids in Club cannot imagine that spending time with them here or on outside events could possibly qualify as work. Maybe I am enjoying myself too much. They don't see that since I spend my time here or with them, that this must be my work. The way I interpret this question, though, is to be glad that at least some of the kids understand that we enjoy what we do and enjoy being with them. It must show in how we treat them and how we act around them. We want them to feel accepted and loved, to know that we are glad they are here and like to be with them. After all, building relationships is the key to our ministry and it is hard to build a relationship if you are doing something you don't like with someone you don't like.
Of course, some of our times in Club are fun: like the kids, I like playing in the gym, going to camp or ballgames or canoeing, and I like eating snacks. I like having the power to decide to play a game of dodgeball when the boys have too much energy or are trash talking. Also of course, much of what I do can't really be called fun. It isn't fun to clean up messes, break up arguments, listen to whining, do paperwork, or to stay within a budget. It's the opposite of fun to tell a parent that their child will have to be on our waiting list or to see someone you care about make stupid choices that will cause pain to themselves and others. All in all, though, I like what I do and I'm glad that it shows.
When I talk to the high school students in our Youth Enterprises job program, I teach them that to enjoy lasting happiness and fulfillment, it is more important to choose a career you like than to make a job choice based upon how much money it pays. I would also like our kids to see that we can trust God to prepare a ministry for each of us that we enjoy, whether or not it is actually our “job.”
“Mr. Mark, where do you work?” It's a question I've heard a few times from the kids with whom Debbie and I have worked. One of the kids wanted to know this recently here at the Youth Center. You know, I've never needed to answer a question like this from an adult who knows about the MYC Club ministry or from the parents of our kids. As a matter of fact, a couple of our former foster kids, who now have kids of their own, have bravely asked, “Was I that bad when I was a kid?” (The answer is yes, and that they are getting their “paybacks”).
Apparently, at least some of the kids in Club cannot imagine that spending time with them here or on outside events could possibly qualify as work. Maybe I am enjoying myself too much. They don't see that since I spend my time here or with them, that this must be my work. The way I interpret this question, though, is to be glad that at least some of the kids understand that we enjoy what we do and enjoy being with them. It must show in how we treat them and how we act around them. We want them to feel accepted and loved, to know that we are glad they are here and like to be with them. After all, building relationships is the key to our ministry and it is hard to build a relationship if you are doing something you don't like with someone you don't like.
Of course, some of our times in Club are fun: like the kids, I like playing in the gym, going to camp or ballgames or canoeing, and I like eating snacks. I like having the power to decide to play a game of dodgeball when the boys have too much energy or are trash talking. Also of course, much of what I do can't really be called fun. It isn't fun to clean up messes, break up arguments, listen to whining, do paperwork, or to stay within a budget. It's the opposite of fun to tell a parent that their child will have to be on our waiting list or to see someone you care about make stupid choices that will cause pain to themselves and others. All in all, though, I like what I do and I'm glad that it shows.
When I talk to the high school students in our Youth Enterprises job program, I teach them that to enjoy lasting happiness and fulfillment, it is more important to choose a career you like than to make a job choice based upon how much money it pays. I would also like our kids to see that we can trust God to prepare a ministry for each of us that we enjoy, whether or not it is actually our “job.”
Monday, January 4, 2010
Who Do You Trust?
"Will you open up a bank account with me?" "Will you put your name on my bank account?" Three of the high school boys in MYC Club have asked me these questions. They have all been in MYC Club, our Youth Enterprises business for kids, and our small Boy Scout troop. I didn't even need to ask why they were coming to me to help them with their banking, but they told me anyway. These boys needed an adult's name on their bank account but didn't want to ask a parent. This is because they each knew that they couldn't trust their own parents with access to the money these boys had earned working at Youth Enterprises. They were afraid that mom or dad would get the money out of the bank for themselves and leave them with nothing. Some of the kids who had lived with us at the New Life Youth Home had felt and expressed the same thing.
So, again, my name is on a few savings accounts. (Not checking accounts; I may be crazy but I'm not stupid!) I don't mind doing this for the boys, but I do mind needing to do it just because kids can't trust parents. It is a scary thing to know that your parents are so selfish and immature that they will put their own desires for cigarettes or alcohol or whatever else over what you need or have earned. The consequenses of this self-centered style of "parenting" can be long-lasting and far-reaching. If you can't trust your own parents to be honest or to practice self control or to think of the needs of those for whom they are supposed to be responsible, it is very hard to trust other people or even to trust God. It doesn't even stop there; it could affect future relationships for these boys, such as with a wife or kids. The unwilingness to resist temptation or delay gratification even at the expense of others by someone who is supposed to nuture you and set an example for you can be a hard legacy to overcome.
In my experience with kids, seeing parents who use their kids to meet the needs of the parents is one of the most disgusting acts of arrogance I have encountered. It's a lot like having a government leader who believes you are there to meet his needs, instead of the government protecting and meeting the needs of the people, and so then takes whatever it wants from the people in order to do what he wants. (Wait a minute! Isn't that happening a lot around here lately?) The disgust, disrespect, and distrust we feel toward our government when it takes our money for thing we don't need must be a lot like how these kids feel toward their parents. Unfortunately, you can't vote your parents out of office!
So, again, my name is on a few savings accounts. (Not checking accounts; I may be crazy but I'm not stupid!) I don't mind doing this for the boys, but I do mind needing to do it just because kids can't trust parents. It is a scary thing to know that your parents are so selfish and immature that they will put their own desires for cigarettes or alcohol or whatever else over what you need or have earned. The consequenses of this self-centered style of "parenting" can be long-lasting and far-reaching. If you can't trust your own parents to be honest or to practice self control or to think of the needs of those for whom they are supposed to be responsible, it is very hard to trust other people or even to trust God. It doesn't even stop there; it could affect future relationships for these boys, such as with a wife or kids. The unwilingness to resist temptation or delay gratification even at the expense of others by someone who is supposed to nuture you and set an example for you can be a hard legacy to overcome.
In my experience with kids, seeing parents who use their kids to meet the needs of the parents is one of the most disgusting acts of arrogance I have encountered. It's a lot like having a government leader who believes you are there to meet his needs, instead of the government protecting and meeting the needs of the people, and so then takes whatever it wants from the people in order to do what he wants. (Wait a minute! Isn't that happening a lot around here lately?) The disgust, disrespect, and distrust we feel toward our government when it takes our money for thing we don't need must be a lot like how these kids feel toward their parents. Unfortunately, you can't vote your parents out of office!
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