Anger issues.
Immaturity, impulsiveness, selfishness, and self control issues. Inability to delay gratification.
Poor social skills, attention craving, insecure, and poor manners. Whining or constantly worried.
School behavior and success issues, and legal trouble.
Disrespect of others. Inappropriate behavior. Lack of reverence. Personal drama creation.
Drug addiction.
Listening and following directions issues. Inability to keep a job. Authority issues.
Bonding issues. Quitting a relationship, a team, a job, or school. Trust issues.
Moral issues. Honesty issues. Sexual perversion issues. Sexually transmitted diseases.
Hitting or fighting as a way to react to or resolve conflict.
Sociopathic behavior. (Not recognizing the rights of others or showing remorse for hurting others.)
Much more likely to be abused, abandoned, or neglected.
Poor choice of role models. Celebrity worship. Gang involvement.
Confusion about God.
Confusion about love. Love is misunderstood to be conditional or temporary; only a brief feeling.
Cheating at school or in sports.
Bullying. Hating.
Depression.
These are only some of the common behavior traits and character issues which we have seen in our work with children who have parents who have decided not to follow God's plan for a marriage and for a family. Sexual partners who cannot commit to a traditional marriage produce kids with serious problems. (If you are interested in more of what we have learned about this issue, please read my book, entitled Front Line Observer.) We have seen the casualties of the war against the family, and now some in our government have chosen to inflict even more.
Now we have a leader in Washington who has claimed that the Defense of Marriage Act is somehow unconstitutional, and some in congress who are trying to overturn it. What God has designed and what human nature, human needs, and human history have confirmed is suddenly against our law? This leader has made many bad policy decisions, but this one cancels his right to be our leader. A chief law enforcer who tells his Justice Department to no longer defend our law which confirms marriage as a union between one man and one woman has forfeited his right to leadership and has no moral authority to tell anyone what to do. This decision may cause more damage to our nation and to our people than anything else has ever caused. This policy is consistent with the definition of a sociopath, and ignores reality and the will of the people. To give special rights, privileges, and status to some people, simply because they like to have perverted sex with members of the same gender, is immoral and dangerous beyond description. God loves everyone, and made laws for our protection and provision. He designed our bodies and emotions and knew that homosexuality was unnatural, unsafe, destructive, and perverted.
Here at the Mission Youth Center, we defend marriage and we demonstrate it. We are blessed to have committed married couples serving here. Showing true love and real marriage helps meet one of the greatest needs we can meet for the kids who come here, because almost all of them live with the pain of being from a “family” which has chosen some kind of “alternative lifestyle”. You can't defy God and the natural order He created without inflicting painful consequences and you cannot redefine marriage in order to pacify perversion without destroying people.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
My Day In Court
My Day In Court
Last month I spent a day in court. No, I haven't been arrested or charged with anything, (at least yet!). It was a session of our county's Child and Family Court known commonly around here as “child support court.” The official reason for spending a morning there was for me to testify for one of our former foster daughters in a hearing involving custody and child support for one of her children. Not surprisingly, the “father” of the child never even bothered to show up, even though he had requested the hearing. He had apparently done so to harass the mother of his child, but later had realized that the truth about his behavior was about to be exposed in court, so as is his habit, he took the easy way out.
As it turns out, there were three hearings that morning that were of interest to me. One was the case I have described, another was for the “father” of one of my grandkids, and the third involved another of the girls who had lived with Debbie and I when we were houseparents at New Life Youth Home. All morning I sat and watched and listened to a sad parade of selfish people who cared little or none about meeting the needs of their own children. I saw anger, sadness, frustration, drama, delays, accusations, complications, and a sickening display of immature excuses from “men” and sometimes “women” who didn't want to take responsibility for their own actions.
Some of these guys couldn't pay child support because they were escorted to court from the jail. Some had addictions which they had allowed to control them instead of the instinct to provide for themselves and their families. Some were just lazy, irresponsible children themselves. Some were going to jail that day unless they paid some child support. One man was even arrested and put in handcuffs in front of his teenage daughter for his outstanding warrants. His daughter had been brought to court for her unruly behavior, and he had come to convince the judge to give him custody of her instead of putting her into treatment. Now both “dad” and daughter are in the custody of the state and are costing money to the taxpayers. I wonder what he was smoking that morning to think the judge would give the girl to him. I don't have to wonder why her behavior was habitually bad.
Guys, you need to “man up” so I will no longer need to put quotation marks around the words “man” or “father” when I refer to you. I'm even offering to help! If you will read it and put the advice to dads into action in your lives, I will give you a free copy of my book, Front Line Observer. It's time to act like men!
Last month I spent a day in court. No, I haven't been arrested or charged with anything, (at least yet!). It was a session of our county's Child and Family Court known commonly around here as “child support court.” The official reason for spending a morning there was for me to testify for one of our former foster daughters in a hearing involving custody and child support for one of her children. Not surprisingly, the “father” of the child never even bothered to show up, even though he had requested the hearing. He had apparently done so to harass the mother of his child, but later had realized that the truth about his behavior was about to be exposed in court, so as is his habit, he took the easy way out.
As it turns out, there were three hearings that morning that were of interest to me. One was the case I have described, another was for the “father” of one of my grandkids, and the third involved another of the girls who had lived with Debbie and I when we were houseparents at New Life Youth Home. All morning I sat and watched and listened to a sad parade of selfish people who cared little or none about meeting the needs of their own children. I saw anger, sadness, frustration, drama, delays, accusations, complications, and a sickening display of immature excuses from “men” and sometimes “women” who didn't want to take responsibility for their own actions.
Some of these guys couldn't pay child support because they were escorted to court from the jail. Some had addictions which they had allowed to control them instead of the instinct to provide for themselves and their families. Some were just lazy, irresponsible children themselves. Some were going to jail that day unless they paid some child support. One man was even arrested and put in handcuffs in front of his teenage daughter for his outstanding warrants. His daughter had been brought to court for her unruly behavior, and he had come to convince the judge to give him custody of her instead of putting her into treatment. Now both “dad” and daughter are in the custody of the state and are costing money to the taxpayers. I wonder what he was smoking that morning to think the judge would give the girl to him. I don't have to wonder why her behavior was habitually bad.
Guys, you need to “man up” so I will no longer need to put quotation marks around the words “man” or “father” when I refer to you. I'm even offering to help! If you will read it and put the advice to dads into action in your lives, I will give you a free copy of my book, Front Line Observer. It's time to act like men!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sanctity of Life
Sanctity of Human Life Week
“This is murder! The president should do something about this!” These are some of the passionate responses of our MYC high school kids to a video we had just watched together. Kermit Gosnell, a baby killer from Philadelphia, was the subject of a CNN interview with a Philly district attorney. It was the killing of a woman and at least seven babies born alive which prompted these responses from the kids. In case you haven't heard, Mr. (I can't call him doctor) Gosnell has gotten rich performing late term “abortions” by inducing labor and then killing the babies after the children were out of the womb alive. The woman had died from anesthesiology he had prescribed. There are more grisly details I will not mention here. Feel free to look up this story if you have a strong stomach or if you have been deceived to believe abortion is a medical “choice.”
“You couldn't pay me enough to work for him!” “I could never do that!” “If he killed my child, I'd kill him, but then I'd be guilty, too! ” These were more of the responses. “God would forgive him if he repented.”, and “Yes, God would forgive him because we have a forgiving God!”, are also quotes from kids in the discussion. In terms of insight, passion, and participation, this was one of the best talks we have had with our older club kids. I believe that some of them understand that once it becomes accepted to do something like kill unborn babies in the womb, then the next steps would include killing babies after they are born, or maybe the handicapped or elderly. The only part of the CNN interview and our talk for which they had no response was when, after it was suggested that our president should stop this kind of murder, I asked if they would like to know Obama's position on this issue. After they said yes, I had to tell the disappointed group that as an Illinois State Senator, he had voted against a law that would have required doctors to give medical care to save the lives of babies who had survived attempts to kill them and had been born alive. Support for Obama during the election had been unanimous for the kids in MY club when we took a poll. I didn't grab for a “gotcha!”moment and wasn't even tempted to follow with “I told you so!”, but just let the kids think quietly for a few seconds before jump-starting the conversation with another question. My goal in showing the video wasn't to bash Obama, but to encourage these kids to recognize what is right and wrong, and to realize where allowing wrong to be the law of our land is leading us.
“This is murder! The president should do something about this!” These are some of the passionate responses of our MYC high school kids to a video we had just watched together. Kermit Gosnell, a baby killer from Philadelphia, was the subject of a CNN interview with a Philly district attorney. It was the killing of a woman and at least seven babies born alive which prompted these responses from the kids. In case you haven't heard, Mr. (I can't call him doctor) Gosnell has gotten rich performing late term “abortions” by inducing labor and then killing the babies after the children were out of the womb alive. The woman had died from anesthesiology he had prescribed. There are more grisly details I will not mention here. Feel free to look up this story if you have a strong stomach or if you have been deceived to believe abortion is a medical “choice.”
“You couldn't pay me enough to work for him!” “I could never do that!” “If he killed my child, I'd kill him, but then I'd be guilty, too! ” These were more of the responses. “God would forgive him if he repented.”, and “Yes, God would forgive him because we have a forgiving God!”, are also quotes from kids in the discussion. In terms of insight, passion, and participation, this was one of the best talks we have had with our older club kids. I believe that some of them understand that once it becomes accepted to do something like kill unborn babies in the womb, then the next steps would include killing babies after they are born, or maybe the handicapped or elderly. The only part of the CNN interview and our talk for which they had no response was when, after it was suggested that our president should stop this kind of murder, I asked if they would like to know Obama's position on this issue. After they said yes, I had to tell the disappointed group that as an Illinois State Senator, he had voted against a law that would have required doctors to give medical care to save the lives of babies who had survived attempts to kill them and had been born alive. Support for Obama during the election had been unanimous for the kids in MY club when we took a poll. I didn't grab for a “gotcha!”moment and wasn't even tempted to follow with “I told you so!”, but just let the kids think quietly for a few seconds before jump-starting the conversation with another question. My goal in showing the video wasn't to bash Obama, but to encourage these kids to recognize what is right and wrong, and to realize where allowing wrong to be the law of our land is leading us.
Friday, December 24, 2010
A Baby for Christmas
A Baby for Christmas
December 22, in a hospital room in Jackson, Debbie and I held our newborn grandchild, McKinnley. Debbie even had the privilege of being with Sheria and participating in McKinnley's birth. With this birth fresh on my mind, I would like to share some brief Christmas Eve thoughts with you.
I think of Mary, and especially of Joseph, holding the newborn boy. (I feel sorry for the grandparents who weren't there.) The creator of the universe depended upon this young, poor couple for everything. Our omnipotent God couldn't even hold up his own head.
As I hold the baby and talk to her mom and listen to Debbie describe the birth, I can't understand how some people can believe in accidental evolution instead of a wise creator. The process of pregnancy and birth, with everything happening at just the right time, and the intricacy of this precious child scream out for a creator. Something as amazing and complicated as this isn't just be random chance.
How twisted are the minds of parents who neglect, abuse, or abandon a child. How infuriatingly selfish can a guy be to abandon the mother of his child to raise the baby alone. How disgustingly self-centered is a mom who acts like her kids are just someone else to manipulate to meet her own needs. How unnatural it is to kill your unborn baby because it will be inconvenient to your selfish lifestyle or agenda. Yet in our work with kids we see this kind of revolting attitude too often. I thank God for being so loving and unselfish that He gave himself to us. This is why I celebrate Christmas!
December 22, in a hospital room in Jackson, Debbie and I held our newborn grandchild, McKinnley. Debbie even had the privilege of being with Sheria and participating in McKinnley's birth. With this birth fresh on my mind, I would like to share some brief Christmas Eve thoughts with you.
I think of Mary, and especially of Joseph, holding the newborn boy. (I feel sorry for the grandparents who weren't there.) The creator of the universe depended upon this young, poor couple for everything. Our omnipotent God couldn't even hold up his own head.
As I hold the baby and talk to her mom and listen to Debbie describe the birth, I can't understand how some people can believe in accidental evolution instead of a wise creator. The process of pregnancy and birth, with everything happening at just the right time, and the intricacy of this precious child scream out for a creator. Something as amazing and complicated as this isn't just be random chance.
How twisted are the minds of parents who neglect, abuse, or abandon a child. How infuriatingly selfish can a guy be to abandon the mother of his child to raise the baby alone. How disgustingly self-centered is a mom who acts like her kids are just someone else to manipulate to meet her own needs. How unnatural it is to kill your unborn baby because it will be inconvenient to your selfish lifestyle or agenda. Yet in our work with kids we see this kind of revolting attitude too often. I thank God for being so loving and unselfish that He gave himself to us. This is why I celebrate Christmas!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
MYC Graduates
MYC Graduates
Here at the Mission Youth Center, there is a small but consistent and slowly-growing group of boys who are still coming to Club after high school graduation. This is encouraging development in our ministry and is a natural result of our relationship-based work. We pray and hope that we can continue to meet some of the needs of these guys, and that eventually some of our MYC graduates will be working here. On every high school Club night this fall we have had from three to six graduates.
I know that some of the reasons that these boys have continued to be involved with us may be thought by some as negative reasons, such as not going off to college or not having a dad around and so they still need to continue their relationship with the men who work here. Other reasons are simple, such as a chance to see their friends or play some basketball or just for something to do. Our favorite reasons are that they value the relationships and positive role models here. This is one of the reasons why I am so thankful for the staff here at MYC and the long-term commitments they make and examples they set. Whatever the reason, it is an opportunity for ministry and discipleship that we value. So far it has only been the boy graduates who keep coming, and we hope that will change, but we understand that most of our girls are not as attracted by the chance to play in our gym, and some are expected to babysit and to take over other responsibilities around the house for their families once they graduate.
One of the “growing pains” we experience by having kids who are no longer in school had been simply to figure out what these guys could be doing during the time the other Club kids are doing homework. Our solution to this has been to have a special “graduates only” class which hopefully will challenge them to think about serious issues, make wise choices from a Christian worldview, and mature to the next level. I tell them that this is an exciting and critical part of their life because it is when they decide who they really are and what they really believe. I try to challenge them to explore what they believe and why they believe it, versus just going with what they have been taught. I emphasize that you know what you really believe by the choices you make. We are using the True U: Does God Exist? from Focus On the Family, which is sort of a college level version of The Truth Project. This series pits four worldviews against one another to see which one gives the best answers and the best life. I have enjoyed the questions and conversations which have come from watching portions of the videos, but more importantly some of the boys seem to really be thinking and getting into the subject. I hope they can see that real Christianity is the only worldview that gives hope, inner peace, and purpose to our lives.
Here at the Mission Youth Center, there is a small but consistent and slowly-growing group of boys who are still coming to Club after high school graduation. This is encouraging development in our ministry and is a natural result of our relationship-based work. We pray and hope that we can continue to meet some of the needs of these guys, and that eventually some of our MYC graduates will be working here. On every high school Club night this fall we have had from three to six graduates.
I know that some of the reasons that these boys have continued to be involved with us may be thought by some as negative reasons, such as not going off to college or not having a dad around and so they still need to continue their relationship with the men who work here. Other reasons are simple, such as a chance to see their friends or play some basketball or just for something to do. Our favorite reasons are that they value the relationships and positive role models here. This is one of the reasons why I am so thankful for the staff here at MYC and the long-term commitments they make and examples they set. Whatever the reason, it is an opportunity for ministry and discipleship that we value. So far it has only been the boy graduates who keep coming, and we hope that will change, but we understand that most of our girls are not as attracted by the chance to play in our gym, and some are expected to babysit and to take over other responsibilities around the house for their families once they graduate.
One of the “growing pains” we experience by having kids who are no longer in school had been simply to figure out what these guys could be doing during the time the other Club kids are doing homework. Our solution to this has been to have a special “graduates only” class which hopefully will challenge them to think about serious issues, make wise choices from a Christian worldview, and mature to the next level. I tell them that this is an exciting and critical part of their life because it is when they decide who they really are and what they really believe. I try to challenge them to explore what they believe and why they believe it, versus just going with what they have been taught. I emphasize that you know what you really believe by the choices you make. We are using the True U: Does God Exist? from Focus On the Family, which is sort of a college level version of The Truth Project. This series pits four worldviews against one another to see which one gives the best answers and the best life. I have enjoyed the questions and conversations which have come from watching portions of the videos, but more importantly some of the boys seem to really be thinking and getting into the subject. I hope they can see that real Christianity is the only worldview that gives hope, inner peace, and purpose to our lives.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Don't Listen to the Lies!
Don't Listen to the Lies
Last week we took our MYC high school club kids to a local church to watch “To Save a Life.” This is a movie for adults and teenagers that deals with serious issues such as honesty, friendship, drinking and drugs, pregnancy, and especially suicide. The next morning a high school boy from our church killed himself at his home. He was not in MYC Club but some of our kids knew him from school or the band, bowling team, or church youth group. He even had gone with the youth group to our camp the previous day as part of a volunteer work project. Debbie and I know his mom and his older siblings from the years we spent as youth sponsors in the youth group, but we didn't really know this boy.
I won't pretend to know why he made this choice or what he was thinking, but I do know that he must have been listening to Satan's lies. Satan's lies come through music or other entertainment media, from “friends” or sometimes even from family, from society, advertising, or even from school, from false religions or philosophies, or sometimes just directly into our minds in the battle to influence our choices. There are some horrible lies out there which are meant to manipulate us, keep us from knowing and understanding our value and purpose, or even to destroy us. Evolution is a lie that tries to convince us that we are just random accidents with no meaning, value, or purpose. The boy who killed himself in “To Save a Life” believed the lie that he was unimportant. Advertising and entertainment lie to us about how we should look, dress, act, or feel,and try to tell us that we don't fit in if we don't comply False religions and cults lie to us by telling us that God could not have come to earth as a person, or didn't die for our sins, or doesn't know us individually and love us unconditionally.
How can we know if Satan or his servants are lying to us and trying to manipulate us? The best way to know for sure if something is a lie is to know the truth. We find the truth in God's word. The truth is that we are all unique creations of God, and that He made us all different but loves us all the same. The truth is that we all have a purpose, meaning, importance, and value. The truth is that God loves us enough to send His own son for us, to forgive us, and offer to adopt us into His family. The truth is that God has gifts and talents for all of us to be used for His people and His glory. The truth is that God wants a relationship with us and that we don't have to earn our way to heaven by following rules or doing good. The truth is also that Satan hates us and works to drown out the truth by surrounding us with lies or tricking us by taking part of the truth and twisting it into a lie. The truth is also that if we spend the time God has given us listening to the wrong music or the wrong peers or even our own wrong thoughts that we can be tricked into thinking that we don't matter to God or other people, and that the answer is in destructive choices like meth or perverted sex or money or even suicide. Please don't listen to the lies!
Last week we took our MYC high school club kids to a local church to watch “To Save a Life.” This is a movie for adults and teenagers that deals with serious issues such as honesty, friendship, drinking and drugs, pregnancy, and especially suicide. The next morning a high school boy from our church killed himself at his home. He was not in MYC Club but some of our kids knew him from school or the band, bowling team, or church youth group. He even had gone with the youth group to our camp the previous day as part of a volunteer work project. Debbie and I know his mom and his older siblings from the years we spent as youth sponsors in the youth group, but we didn't really know this boy.
I won't pretend to know why he made this choice or what he was thinking, but I do know that he must have been listening to Satan's lies. Satan's lies come through music or other entertainment media, from “friends” or sometimes even from family, from society, advertising, or even from school, from false religions or philosophies, or sometimes just directly into our minds in the battle to influence our choices. There are some horrible lies out there which are meant to manipulate us, keep us from knowing and understanding our value and purpose, or even to destroy us. Evolution is a lie that tries to convince us that we are just random accidents with no meaning, value, or purpose. The boy who killed himself in “To Save a Life” believed the lie that he was unimportant. Advertising and entertainment lie to us about how we should look, dress, act, or feel,and try to tell us that we don't fit in if we don't comply False religions and cults lie to us by telling us that God could not have come to earth as a person, or didn't die for our sins, or doesn't know us individually and love us unconditionally.
How can we know if Satan or his servants are lying to us and trying to manipulate us? The best way to know for sure if something is a lie is to know the truth. We find the truth in God's word. The truth is that we are all unique creations of God, and that He made us all different but loves us all the same. The truth is that we all have a purpose, meaning, importance, and value. The truth is that God loves us enough to send His own son for us, to forgive us, and offer to adopt us into His family. The truth is that God has gifts and talents for all of us to be used for His people and His glory. The truth is that God wants a relationship with us and that we don't have to earn our way to heaven by following rules or doing good. The truth is also that Satan hates us and works to drown out the truth by surrounding us with lies or tricking us by taking part of the truth and twisting it into a lie. The truth is also that if we spend the time God has given us listening to the wrong music or the wrong peers or even our own wrong thoughts that we can be tricked into thinking that we don't matter to God or other people, and that the answer is in destructive choices like meth or perverted sex or money or even suicide. Please don't listen to the lies!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
How Long Do You Think You Can Do This?
How Long Do You Think You Can Do This?
“How long have you been working with kids?” “H ow long do you think you will be able to do this?” “Do you think you will ever retire or do something else? I get questions like this every once in awhile. A few times the questions have come from kids, but usually they will come from an adult who can't imagine working with rowdy kids, or who used to be one of our rowdy kids.
My first experience with kids was in Chicago in 1977 as a volunteer at a neighborhood youth center while I was a student at Moody Bible Institute. I was still a rowdy kid myself. The answers to the other questions are more complicated. Debbie and I want to work with kids as long as we believe God wants us to be in this kind of ministry, or until He has another purpose for us to fulfill. I've decided on a test which I believe will show me when it's time for a change. I've asked Debbie to help watch for such a moment, when I act like I'm too tired or burned out to go on, or have simply lost my mind. Here is the simple test: When the time comes that I see or hear a child do something with my own eyes or ears, and the child tells me that he didn't do it, and I believe him, then it is time to retire from youth work and move on.
Apparently there are a few kids who think I have already lost my mind. They act like I will believe what they say over what I see with my own eyes. Last week I heard a boy call another boy an offensive racial name. (Both boys are black.) When I confronted him for his rudeness, he absolutely denied saying it, even though I saw him and heard him myself. Then, instead of an apology to the other boy, he became angry and aggressive to the point where he had to leave early. It isn't surprising to see this behavior. They see their parents, sports and entertainment “heroes” and politicians set the pattern: deny reality to push their agenda, and then get angry and ridicule those to whom they should be apologizing. I passed my test again, so I'm not ready to retire. The Bible teaches us to walk by faith and not by sight, but this applies to God's promises, not to a kid's lies or a politician's talking points.
“How long have you been working with kids?” “H ow long do you think you will be able to do this?” “Do you think you will ever retire or do something else? I get questions like this every once in awhile. A few times the questions have come from kids, but usually they will come from an adult who can't imagine working with rowdy kids, or who used to be one of our rowdy kids.
My first experience with kids was in Chicago in 1977 as a volunteer at a neighborhood youth center while I was a student at Moody Bible Institute. I was still a rowdy kid myself. The answers to the other questions are more complicated. Debbie and I want to work with kids as long as we believe God wants us to be in this kind of ministry, or until He has another purpose for us to fulfill. I've decided on a test which I believe will show me when it's time for a change. I've asked Debbie to help watch for such a moment, when I act like I'm too tired or burned out to go on, or have simply lost my mind. Here is the simple test: When the time comes that I see or hear a child do something with my own eyes or ears, and the child tells me that he didn't do it, and I believe him, then it is time to retire from youth work and move on.
Apparently there are a few kids who think I have already lost my mind. They act like I will believe what they say over what I see with my own eyes. Last week I heard a boy call another boy an offensive racial name. (Both boys are black.) When I confronted him for his rudeness, he absolutely denied saying it, even though I saw him and heard him myself. Then, instead of an apology to the other boy, he became angry and aggressive to the point where he had to leave early. It isn't surprising to see this behavior. They see their parents, sports and entertainment “heroes” and politicians set the pattern: deny reality to push their agenda, and then get angry and ridicule those to whom they should be apologizing. I passed my test again, so I'm not ready to retire. The Bible teaches us to walk by faith and not by sight, but this applies to God's promises, not to a kid's lies or a politician's talking points.
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