How Long Do You Think You Can Do This?

How Long Do You Think You Can Do This?

“How long have you been working with kids?” “H ow long do you think you will be able to do this?” “Do you think you will ever retire or do something else? I get questions like this every once in awhile. A few times the questions have come from kids, but usually they will come from an adult who can't imagine working with rowdy kids, or who used to be one of our rowdy kids.

My first experience with kids was in Chicago in 1977 as a volunteer at a neighborhood youth center while I was a student at Moody Bible Institute. I was still a rowdy kid myself. The answers to the other questions are more complicated. Debbie and I want to work with kids as long as we believe God wants us to be in this kind of ministry, or until He has another purpose for us to fulfill. I've decided on a test which I believe will show me when it's time for a change. I've asked Debbie to help watch for such a moment, when I act like I'm too tired or burned out to go on, or have simply lost my mind. Here is the simple test: When the time comes that I see or hear a child do something with my own eyes or ears, and the child tells me that he didn't do it, and I believe him, then it is time to retire from youth work and move on.

Apparently there are a few kids who think I have already lost my mind. They act like I will believe what they say over what I see with my own eyes. Last week I heard a boy call another boy an offensive racial name. (Both boys are black.) When I confronted him for his rudeness, he absolutely denied saying it, even though I saw him and heard him myself. Then, instead of an apology to the other boy, he became angry and aggressive to the point where he had to leave early. It isn't surprising to see this behavior. They see their parents, sports and entertainment “heroes” and politicians set the pattern: deny reality to push their agenda, and then get angry and ridicule those to whom they should be apologizing. I passed my test again, so I'm not ready to retire. The Bible teaches us to walk by faith and not by sight, but this applies to God's promises, not to a kid's lies or a politician's talking points.

They're Back Again

Kids Clubs here at MYC are as full as I have ever experienced, with short to very long waiting lists in every age group. Even our high school club, which in the past has been the only club without a waiting list now has kids who are waiting to get involved. A few of our current MYC Club members are new, and a few others have been to our summer camp or previously have been on our waiting lists, but the great majority of our kids were with us last year. Many have been with us as long as I can remember. There are now kids in high school who were in intermediate school when Debbie and I began our work with MYC. All of us who work with kids here at the Mission believe that the strongest reason for kids returning to camp and club year after year is the relationship. Not only do we work with most of the same kids and familes year after year, but we have been blessed with most of the same staff and volunteers year after year, and this greatly helps with building relationships. The need is great, and our relationships with these families are key to meeting the needs. Some of our kids represent the second generation of camp and club attendance for the family. Yes, these kids can drive us crazy, and not every moment is enjoyable, but we do enjoy seeing them and getting to know them year after year.

They Are Coming!

There are thirteen of them. They will be loud. They don't know our rules. They don't listen well. They are easily bored and easily distracted. They don't know how to play our games. They have short attention spans and small bladders. They outnumber us. They are waiting. And they are coming!

You're right if you think that they sound pretty intimidating; maybe we'll even admit a little scary. What am I talking about? If you know kids, you may have already figured it out. I'm talking about our newest class of 1st graders here at MYC Club. Each July, we give a chance for kids who may want to be in MYC Club during the school year to have a head start by joining Summer in the Son, which is our summer club program. In May, we give applications to kindergarten students who have been identified by the teachers as having a need for MYC and who could benefit from Club next year. The teachers may have noticed early behavior issues or inadequate families or simply kids who could use some attention, some structure, or some relationships with loving adults.

This year we have thirteen of these little ones. This is the biggest number of kindergarten graduates to begin Summer in the Son in the five years I have been involved with summer Club. Six of them are enthusiastic younger siblings of current MYC kids. This tells us that their older brothers and sisters have enjoyed Club and that their parents are trusting us with the little ones as soon as we can get them. Some of these kids have been asking and waiting to come to MYC since they have been watching brothers and sisters and cousins come to Club. Seven of them represent new families for MYC and a new opportunity to build relationships with families who recognize MYC as a way to meet the needs of their kids. We thank God for the chance to serve Him by serving these kids and their families.

Yes, it is a little intimidating. We will need a lot of energy, patience, and love. Please keep us in your prayers. All of our kids are challenging, and a large number of new kids at the same time can be overwhelming, but also remind us to look to God for the strength, love, and wisdom we will need. These kids are everything described in the opening paragraph, but even more so they are God's creation who God loves and for whom God has a purpose. God isn't scared. Bring them on!

You Make Me Want to Get Maried!

Debbie and I have known “Ivy” for the four years we have been involved with MYC Club. She uses two different last names because of her confusing, complicated family. Her little brother has a different last name, which isn't the same as mom's last name One brother has been in prison for a violent assault. Another brother openly displays “sexual orientation” issues. It's safe to say that the families who work at MYC are not what she is used to seeing at home.

Earlier this month Ivy was working with Debbie at Youth Enterprises, which is our job program for high school students. The subject of conversation was work related, not about relationships or marriage. Seemingly out of nowhere, Ivy said, “Ms. Debbie, seeing you and Mr. Mark makes me want to get married!” It really wasn't out of nowhere, though. She has been watching us and listening to us as we relate to each other while we work with the kids.

It isn't by accident that we have married couples working at MYC, because these kids need role models who display the fruit of God's spirit through their marriages. This hasn't been the only time the subject of marriage has been brought up by the kids. One boy told Greg that watching Greg and his wife made marriage look like fun! Some girls have asked me if Debbie and I ever argue. (Of course, I tell them that Debbie and I have disagreements whenever Debbie is wrong about something.) It's encouraging to know that the kids are watching us and learning from us. It's also a little scary, knowing that you are being watched, but that's a part of building relationships and a reason to pray. We also pray that these kids can break the cycle of destructive family lifestyles which have caused them to be at risk and need us.

Eagle Scout from MYC

Monday May 10, MYC Club senior Antwan Howard was honored in a special ceremony at the Youth Center for earning the rank of Eagle Scout. He is a member of Scout Troop 380, which meets at MYC Wednesday afternoons, with Bart Williams as Scout Master. We are excited because Antwan is the first Scout from our troop to earn Eagle Scout.

Antwan comes from a loyal “MYC family”, having followed his older siblings by being involved in MYC Club since primary school. He has also been in Youth Enterprises through high school and in the Scout Troop since fifth grade. His Eagle Scout project was the Forked Deer River Trail. Antwan, with help from the rest of our Troop and others in the community, cleared and marked a trail alongside the north bank of the river. The trail is for the enjoyment of those who like walking or enjoy nature, and will be part of what we hope someday to be a trail system or riverfront park. The trail begins west of the Mission, where the clearing meets the woods along the river behind the Farmer's Market. It follows the river and then to some ponds and up to the levee. MYC Club kids and others have already enjoyed the trail, and Antwan invites you to try it out for yourself! Just look for the signs or ask one of us.

The Scout leaders, MYC staff, and Mission staff are all proud of Antwan. Few Scouts anywhere have the determination to earn the highest rank. He never quit or used any of the convenient excuses available to him, such as poverty and little parent involvement. He instead has shown what our kids can accomplish with the desire and some encouragement and help from caring adults. Antwan's attitude and accomplishment has been a blessing to us and we pray for God's blessings for him as he enters the next season of his life.

Something to Celebrate

They are the children of an addicted mom and a father who is isn't involved in their lives. A sister and brother who have often been moved between relatives or have been with mom in whatever was her current living arrangement. They learned to fend for themselves and look out for each other.

First, they came to Club and Camp, and for four years they have been involved with MYC as consistently as their chaotic life will allow. Then, last summer they were two of the MYC Club kids who came with Debbie and I to VBS at our church. Next, they started coming to church with us regularly on Sundays and Wednesdays. Early this year, their mother began to join her children with us at church. Everyone at church made her feel comfortable and welcomed her. The Spirit of God was working all of this time. Now, she has a personal relationship with Jesus! She shared in church her decision to accept Christ and be baptized. She shared a testimony during her baptism, in front of her kids, including repenting of mistakes. Now we all have a miracle to celebrate! Luke quotes Jesus saying that the angels celebrate when a sinner repents, and I believe that so should we/

Reaching parents isn't even included in our written MYC Mission Statement. However, serving the needs of the whole family because of Christ is what the we at the Mission strive to do and what we as individual Christians have been called to do. Now, this mom wants to become a better mom and is already being a better example for her kids. There is no guarantee that it will be easy for her, but now she has the Spirit of God, the church, and those of us here at the Mission and MYC to support and encourage her. We can't take credit for this miracle in this family; God has used many of His people to do His work. Everyone who supports or volunteers in the Mission's youth programs has had a part in this transformation. We invite you to celebrate this new member of the family of God with us! Thank God for His work with this mom and for meeting the needs of these children and for answers to prayer.

Kid Logic

“Xavier dared me to do it!” A 3rd -grade MYC Club member had stolen a teacher's glasses and had taken them to the bathroom, where they were stepped on and left broken on the floor. This was his excuse when we confronted him. He wasn't even angry with the teacher; it was all about a dare.

“You can't kick me out; I've been in Club longer than you!” This bit of twisted logic was from a teenage boy who was being suspended from Club for insubordination. In his mind, the fact that he had been involved at MYC for years prevented him from having to accept responsibility for his actions.

“My mama says if someone puts their hand on me, I have to hit them!” This classic was from a 2nd grade boy who had wanted to wrestle with one of our teenage volunteers. When the older boy playfully wrestled with him, the little boy slugged him with a fist. Yet he still asks our staff to spin him around or wrestle and refuses to see that we don't do this with him anymore because of his lack of self control.

We can come up with an excuse for anything. Lame attempts to deny responsibility for our choices began with, “The woman you made for me gave me the fruit,” and has continued through, “I inherited this bad economy!” and beyond. The “disappearing dads” of our single-parent kids give the kids excuses instead of support or protection. This refusal to accept responsibility is a major reason that the kids with whom we serve at MYC are at risk. The examples our kids see of blaming others instead of claiming ownership for actions come in a continuous stream from celebrities, government leaders, and even parents. Kid logic sounds funny in a story, but it is scary when so many adults who influence our kids never grow out of using it.